Categories
Safety

Cargo shorts III

Carrying a doll in the hammer loop of carpenter jeans

The other day, Fleur gave me her doll so she could better play on the playground. Any doll that fits, I tend to either put in a pocket or the hammer loop.

The latter usually gets a quizzical look from other parents.

Look, my job as a solo parent is to ensure the child playing on equipment rated for children older than her both does it herself and doesn’t end up in the ER. She gets to feel independent. I get to feel needed. Holding a doll in my hands and catching a child interfere with each other.

Previously: cargo shorts and cargo shorts II

Categories
Ethics Philosophy

Ethical treatment of animals

A friend described my home as rural. We have a barrier of trees obscuring the subdivision behind us. On the other side of them is another just being built and the other side of them a major shopping center. Across the street, behind them is a farm with horses. Another farm with cows is close enough, I can hear them moo.

On the drive to school, we pass a puppy daycare which always elicits excitement when they are in the pens outside. There is also a pasture with goats.

The troubling one is we pass an auction house. Sometimes they auction cars. This week, they have cows. Fleur has not asked where they go yet. And, honestly, I am not sure. I think they probably will go slaughter.

In that context, I found this article interesting:

Many adult consumers are averse to harm against living entities yet accept food production systems involving harm to maintain their eating practices. To solve this inner moral conflict, adults have been shown to objectify food animals (Bastian & Loughnan, 2017Bratanova et al., 2011)—attributing less intelligence, sentience, and ability to suffer. Our data shows, in late childhood, children evaluate eating animals and animal products as less morally acceptable. Children may be less likely to objectify farm animals as demonstrated by their reduced likelihood of classifying animals as food. Hence, we can speculate that adults learn effective strategies to solve inner moral conflicts regarding animal treatment. This, however, does not warrant the conclusion that children simply see all animals as equal. To assess that possibility, we asked participants about animals that we could argue have particular moral standing in society, namely, humans great ape cousins on the one hand (chimpanzees) and pests (rats) on the other (see Supplemental Information for results). We found that children think that chimpanzees ought to be treated better than pigs, and pigs better than rats. An important step in the research will be to establish at what age, and why, children start to form moral hierarchies.

McGuire, Luke; Palmer, Sally; Faber, Nadira. The development of speciesism: Age-related differences in the moral view of animals. Social Psychological and Personality Science.

My reluctance to offer up what will happen to these cows is related to that. I am not sure how I will respond when she asks.

Categories
Parenting

If is an enormous word

Fleur prefers short sleeves and shorts. In the winter, the challenge has been to keep her warm enough. She probably sees me wear short-sleeves and a coat so she argues to do that as well. Acknowledging it, I do often let her wear short sleeves with a coat plus pants.

Photo by MART PRODUCTION on Pexels.com

The spring adds another complication. It is cold in the morning, so she needs pants then. It warms up in the afternoon, so I send shorts to school she can change into after nap.

One morning, it was border-line. I did allow her to go to daycare in shorts but I sent along pants. I think she thought she was going to have to wear them. In an exasperated tone after taking much complaining, I said, “If… If… IF you want to wear pants because you are cold, you have them in your bag. It is your choice.”

At the end of the day, she didn’t wear them. That’s okay. As long as she made the choice. And didn’t avoid them because I offered.

Categories
Problem Solving

Coral pants

Apparently I am that point of being a girl dad where Ads asks about the pink pants. Fleur is mystified. I am mystified.

Then I notice the coral pants and, “you mean these?”

Categories
Parenting

The story so far 3 year anniversary

Fleur is almost four. She is running, singing, playing, and helping. She has preferences and willing to enforce them.

Galahad is twenty years old. He loves his sister, but struggles to admit it.

Ada, my wife, works full time in financials. She tolerates my constant need to improve processes. She loves the dad jokes and dad bod.

I don’t read nearly as much. I miss it.

I hope people enjoy reading this blog.

Categories
Parenting science

Future meteorologist

Fleur saw the clouds in the sky and declared to me it would rain. I thought she was right.

The taking information of the clouds. The pattern matching for the types of clouds seen against rain vs not rain clouds. When did it rain vs not? Making a hypothesis. And having the confidence to declare it.

She just needs to start recording her hypothesis, data, and results. She will need to learn to write first. And that is in process.

Categories
cousins

Family Fusion

Extended families have two great strengths. The first is resilience. An extended family is one or more families in a supporting web. Your spouse and children come first, but there are also cousins, in-laws, grandparents—a complex web of relationships among, say, seven, 10, or 20 people. If a mother dies, siblings, uncles, aunts, and grandparents are there to step in. If a relationship between a father and a child ruptures, others can fill the breach. Extended families have more people to share the unexpected burdens—when a kid gets sick in the middle of the day or when an adult unexpectedly loses a job.

The Nuclear Family Was a Mistake. David Brooks @ the Atlantic

I love that Fleur gets to play with her cousin. But, I love that our families are close more. It isn’t just seeing each other on holidays.

When my brother and sister-in-law needed help a couple times in recent times, we stepped up to help them. Should we have a similar need, they would be the first we would turn to for help.

I would love that the family base were larger, but this parenting thing is rough. Having help is important.

Categories
communication

Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star

Ada tried to call me. Fleur burst into song over our conversation. Her clarity and confidence melted my heart. Her brazen defiance of asking her to allow us to talk made me almost fall out of my office chair in laughter.

Photo by Jonathan Borba on Pexels.com
Categories
cousins Parenting

Toy trading

The cousins, Fleur and Jasmine, have a tendency to intentionally or accidentally leave things the other enjoyed. Most of the time it is a accidental situation. I failed to ensure everything that was brought is accounted for before walking out the door.

The intentional happened often enough the girls started rationalizing the other intended it to be left. Which is maybe for the best.

It usually makes it home the next week. And both have enough one thing is probably not missed too much. And if that one thing is a favorite they move on to a new one in the week.

Just a year ago, Fleur would meltdown over leaving something somewhere. She has quadruplet cheap dolls because of leaving the first somewhere. Often enough in the past year she would get upset over forgetting to bring a toy.

Categories
Games

In character

The other day, Fleur told Ada and I that:

  • Fleur would only identify as Elsa
  • Ada asked to be Anna
  • She also asked for me to be Kristoff
  • And the Elsa doll is? Olaf!

So ever since, we have to maintain these roles within the home dynamic. If we slip up, Fleur gets upset that the game has stopped.

However, around others, the game is not in effect.

I think she is ready for the role-play aspect of Dungeons & Dragons.