Sharing is Caring II

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In the original post, Sharing is Caring, I wrote about how I got Fleur to try new things by imitation of my eating them then how it morphed into her feeding me when she didn’t want it.

Now, my wife is concerned about my loss of weight. It has been about eight pounds in the past two weeks. Since discovering it and given that so much is up in the air, I have become more cognizant about what may have changed.

  • The familial isolation: we are holed up at home and limiting our going out. One would think that would mean being more sedentary, but I found that I burned 1200 to 1600 more calories on days where I stayed home with Fleur than days where I went to work without going to the gym.
  • Fleur play: To help Fleur sleep, we need her to be as active as possible. That means going outside and getting her to run and jump and move.
  • Dietary habits: At work, I typically ate breakfast, a morning snack, lunch, and an afternoon snack. I might miss the morning snack if things got busy but that is because I had a 3 hour window between breakfast and lunch and really I needed more time between the two. I am finding I typically miss the snacks at home because I am juggling work and toddler.

But, then there is also the toddler. She wants my food. We endeavor to give her the same food we eat at dinner. However, the food on my plate is the BEST food. She always wants it over what is in front of her. She especially wants my portions of her favorites. Portion control goes out the window when the toddler is taking some random amount of them.

Toddlers are honey badgers

Yes, I previously wrote toddlers are cats. I may have changed my mind.

Videos of the tenacity of honey badgers fascinate me. The toddler makes me think maybe they are honey badgers.

  • Toddlers don’t care.
  • They have enough patience to wait for you to turn your back.
  • They will escape whatever you use to contain them.
  • They will get into whatever you hide from them or put out of their reach.

Executive Function

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Teenagers have an under developed prefrontal cortex. This is the part of the brain that interrupts emotional responses and considers the potential effects before acting. Teenagers look enough adult-like we want to treat them as adults, but they also have yet to grow the brain into their bodies.

Toddlers DGAF. Stimulus-response. Galahad is having to deal with the consequences of lack of planning, thinking three moves ahead, and a toddler who makes him pay the consequences.

He was in a bad mood, but he came upstairs to make a showing of his displeasure. Fleur who adores him now has made him sit and watch the same annoying video (we all hate) over and over.

She sounds so happy.

He sounds grumpier. Well, until she has worn him down.

My hope is that experiences like this will help him grow into being more mindful.

The sweetest sound

Galahad disappeared downstairs. Fleur didn’t notice at first. But, when she did, she called his name. More of a questioning. Gaga? When that did not work it became a bit louder. Gaga! Well, then it was ON! She runs around checking and calling. When she realized he was not there, she went to the door to the stairs and screams at the top of her lungs: GAAAAGAAAAAA! over and over until he comes back.

There is also…

  • More, more Mama
  • More, more Nannie
  • More, more Gaga
  • More, more Dada

Head of household

As Fleur develops language skills, she puts them to very practical uses. She asks for snacks, articles of clothing, and people. Of late, though, that also entails directives. Orders.

Daddy, eat!
Daddy, sit!
Daddy, [throw this] away!

I fear our interactions with the ever listening Big Sister have encouraged this style of direction. The first directives were aimed at it. The “Meow” the cat. Then Galahad. Of late, that has included the parents.

Ah, well, at least she is getting me to eat my oatmeal in the morning.

Pre-Theory of Mind

Fleur picked up something off the floor, popped it in her mouth, stood up, and met my gaze. She spun around and took off. She knew I was coming for it without me having to say it.

She is about a year from having developed the Theory of Mind. With it, she is able to know what I am thinking about the situation. In the classic situation, a researcher shows putting something in a box. Another moves it while the first is not present. Then the child asked where the first thinks it is located.

The taking off means she knows something of what I am thinking. She just would think I know what she knows.

Ride FOMO

This past weekend on Saturday, we went to the mall where there is a place with bounce houses and a new marry go round with three horses. It has a warning that a parent needs to be present and not allow the child to be off the horses. Easier said than done when your child has ride fear of missing out.

Fleur wanted on any random one at first. I put her on the red one and started the ride. As she started to get off it, I stopped the ride. She got on the yellow one, the one in her eye sight. I started the ride and within a minute I had to stop it again as she transferred to the blue. Then she wanted on the red one then yellow then blue then red.

On Sunday, we went to the park she loves. This time the FOMO reared its head in getting upset about other children trying to use the same slide. And wanting to use the next swing over, even the one identical to the one she was in.

That said, once she found the right slides (one rated for 5-12 year olds), she wanted to do them over and over and over. The issue with the other children is they were preventing her from getting back on it fast enough.