Categories
Linguistics

Overly precise

Fleur: is this the right foot?

Me: that is the right foot and the correct shoe.

I wanted emphasize “right” in the context of side and not correctness. Left/right and correct/wrong. I am perhaps a bit sensitive to how in technology we take existing words and re-use them for new meanings. For a time it creates confusion as people acclimate to the new meaning.

Photo by Kaique Rocha on Pexels.com

The usefulness of language is in how easily we communicate concepts to each other. This right shoe case is a niche where the same word with different meanings could cause confusion.

But, at the same time it makes me think harder before my morning coffee so it left an impression.

If as a side effect she becomes overly precise in her word choice too, it may drive Ada and Fleur’s teachers nuts, but I will adore it. Words have meanings.

Categories
Games Parenting

Game: Keepy Uppy Bandit

We know the game about keeping the balloon off the ground as “Keepy Uppy” due to the show Bluey. The father’s name is Bandit.

Photo by A.J. Spearman on Pexels.com

Setup: The same as traditional games of this sort. Inflate a balloon.

Action: Someone puts the balloon into the air. Each person hits the balloon back up into the air to keep it from touching the ground. The more acrobatic the better. Easy mode: control the balloon with soft hits so the other person can also controlled hit it.

In the episode, Bluey complains about it being too easy, so Bandit makes it harder. Fleur likes to make it harder by hitting it where I am challenged to keep it from touching the ground. Sometimes she transitions to Hard Mode after half an hour where other times she gets there after a few minutes. Sometimes she announces the change with “I am Bandit” while other times I figure it out because she’s started making it hard.

Anyway, she makes it more fun.

Categories
Linguistics Parenting

Baby is a four letter word

Fleur doesn’t like my pet name for her: Baby. It earns an instant protest about not being a baby.

My mother claims to Fleur that I am her baby. Taking in this information became a game changer. Until recently, Fleur rejected even that.

She slowly but surely has come around to accepting that she is and will always be my baby.

My other argument is when she asks me to carry her, I remind her that babies get carried. So as long as she wants to me to carry her, I get to call her my baby.

Baby steps.

See also: Help is a four letter word

Categories
Behavioral Economics

Loss of possession is 9/10ths of the screaming 2022

The original post on this is worth quoting.

Humans have a well developed and easy to exploit sense of loss aversion. (Kahneman and Tversky) We experience far more pain when losing something than the pleasure we experience from gaining.

https://polymathparent.com/2019/05/23/loss-of-possession-is-9-10ths-of-the-screaming/

Three years ago, it was easier as we could just give Fleur another thing we agree on her having to negate the loss aversion. Today, we have many conversations a day about why she cannot have something. The most difficult are the ones resulting in her not getting something she already decided she would get.

Examples:

  • We want her to eat dinner before dessert, expecting her to fill up on the dessert.
  • There is a toy at the store she wants, but we don’t want.
Photo by mohamed Abdelgaffar on Pexels.com

The strategy is still to give her something that she wants. For meals, we strive to make sure it is something she likes plus is nutritious and are not hard-set on eating it all. Which, of course, means quite a bit of “just two more bites” and “that was a half-bite.”

I also find myself reconsidering how strict I want to be on a specific confrontation. Sometimes, in the evaluation, I realize that her having the thing is not so bad, so I let her keep or get it. But, I encourage her to explain why she should. I hope to foster a habit of argumentation.

Not argumentation as in constant confrontation, but using logic and persuasion to get her way instead of fussing. Negotiation also works in this space. The brain is built for this, so I want to foster her using it to the fullest. (More about Dunbar.)

Her Elementary School teachers are going to despise me as a parent as

Categories
Games

Game: Run, Walk, Stop, Skip

At the house with dogs in the neighborhood, it used to be having me run because the dogs ran with me and not her. And, I can run faster, which is not allowed.

Now, the game is she barks commands for me to follow. And my intentional getting it wrong results in coaching me to do the activity correctly.

Photo by cheptu00e9 cormani on Pexels.com

I enjoy it because I get to be obtuse. She also learns to roll her eyes about me.

Categories
Games Parenting

Game: stuntwoman

Setup: the bed is the landing zone.

Action: I started off throwing her Superwoman style. She told me to hold her upside down and throw her. We call that variant, “Stuntwoman Extreme.”

She also loves me to spin the merry-go-round or spinner seats so fast she gets dizzy.

Categories
Games

Game: Elsa and the Big Bad Wolf

Setup: Fleur is Elsa. I am the Big Bad Wolf. Others are various Frozen characters. Ada is Anna.

Action: this basically a chase game. I howl and try to get Elsa or others. Elsa can freeze me. Someone else can use fire to unfreeze.

I love this game because we play it in some public place with open space to run around. It gets weird looks about me howling.

Categories
play

Disney-fication: Annotation of life through song

For years now, Fleur has loved certain Disney movies. One common characteristic is this breaking out into song.

The song serves a purpose: explanation of the situation to carry the story. The protagonists have a need and express it through song.

The other day, Fleur started singing. Not one of the songs from a movie. Something made up about what she was doing.

So better than the movie.

Categories
Parenting

Perfect Date

Fleur hates heavy clothing. She tends to want to wear short sleeve dresses and shorts. Which is great in the spring to fall, but a challenge in the winter.

If is an enormous word” was about giving her the freedom to make the choice. In part because it was border-line cold. I was telling her I trusted her to make the decision.

Today, she put on shorts. I didn’t question it despite it being pretty cool. She recognized it and asked me, “Will it be warm today?” Which brings us to the Miss Congeniality scene…

Categories
learning Lil Miss Independent

Scaffold parenting

Fatherly has a good post on scaffold parenting. I am by trade a fixer, so hanging back and letting something else do it takes all of my patience. At work, I am in a new role, so I have my replacements doing the work and advising when they need help. Basically, using my parenting at the office.

Scaffolding is a process where an adult helps a child manage a task that they couldn’t otherwise manage on their own. It requires situational wisdom about when to provide children with temporary support, when to allow them to make mistakes by doing things on their own, and helping them through the reflection process when things don’t work out how they would like.

What Is Scaffold Parenting, and Should I Do It?
Only if you’re willing to grow alongside your child.
Fatherly.com April 22, 2022

Fleur craved physical independence, so I had to learn to let her do things. Right now she is also into social development. She loves her dolls, gave each a personality, and workshops her friendships. The challenge will be school and whether she approaches it like Ada or me. Hopefully Ada.