I am not my kid. I am not my kid. I am not my kid.

This idea that kids’ behavior is a reflection on the parent creates such a fear-based parenting culture, but all kids mess up. It’s part of learning self-control and how to behave in a given situation.

Washington Post, Phyllis Fagel, “8 ways to change a child’s ‘bad’ behavior

toddler with red adidas sweat shirt
Photo by mohamed Abdelgaffar on Pexels.com

This resonated with my having very recently read some parenting group conversations on handling bad behavior. And had some in-person conversations with friends.

Some parents certainly seem to take bad behavior as a personal attack on themselves. Some people seem to judge the behavior of kids as a personal reflection of the parent. Bad behavior means the parent is a failure.

It made me super uncomfortable as a teenager and young adult for people to compliment my parents on how well behaved I was. Their experience with me was such a small slice of life. They were making this judgement on me behaving my best in an easy environment to do so. Sure, if I had managed to stay well behaved in a super challenging situation, then I guess it would be warranted. Not so sure in the moment I would have agreed.

I do need to remember to take into account the kids being their own entities before reacting to behaviors.

One Reply to “I am not my kid. I am not my kid. I am not my kid.”

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